The Move....

Hello!

I am 90% done with moving. What a relief. Just a few more random items to pack up and move 2.2 miles. While in general I am not such a huge fan of moving - this move has been particularly liberating for me. It has come to my attention that my last residence, was one of transition. That is quite true, to be sure. When I last moved it was from my cozy little family home and family life in central MN to St.Paul to become a single parent and manage a new household solo. I am certain that I did not intend to be a single parent to three lively young chaps, but I'll take it.

This time, I feel like I have my bearings, I am more grounded, and not as much in a state of shock, you know, like the deer in the headlights. I think my blank stare has vanished, at least most days. There really is not enough time for one prepare for becoming single again after marriage, and to become single with kids.... It's a lot to absorb and adapt to. No matter how common divorce is, it is still a deeply personal matter, that effects not only the couple, children, but friends and family, not to mention finances.

I do not live in the world of the wacky sit-com divorced mom on the run.... hi jinx around each corner, I do not have a laugh track piped into my walls, no bumbling neighbor, (at least not one who walks in and out of my house unannounced) and no television worthy closet or furnishings. I am just me, trying to make do, and to do as well as I can.

So onto the compact and my pursuit of reducing, reusing, recycling, and restoring..... Not so good this past week. First of all... we have had waaaay too many meals out this past week. Seriously, it's embarrassing, not to mention unhealthy. Blech. Can't wait to get a home cooked meal. The new house has a claw foot tub, that I loooove! I never knew that I always wanted a claw foot tub. This tub was in desperate need of a shower curtain, so I did go to Target to get two new shower curtains. (two because they need to cover all the way around the tub) And to hang the curtains, I did purchase one pack of shower rings, on sale! $2.80. I found a gently used rug for the basement at Unique, but did buy a carpet remnant as well. All in all, not too bad for a move. far fewer purchases than I have ever made while moving. I don't feel as guilty shopping at Target versus other big box stores. Target still seems Minnesota to me, and I do know they give back to the communities they are in.

That is the current move status. The boys are adjusting well, and they are liking the new digs. I am happy because they are happy. I never moved as a child - so I can't relate. In fact my mother still lives in my childhood home, so I am spoiled in that way. As long as the boys are happy and doing well... that's the most I can ask for.

On a completely unrelated note... I would just like to say how wonderful it is that Diablo Cody won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. I will admit, I have not always been a fan, but Diablo and her work have grown on me. I think it is very inspiring, that the little screen play written by an unknown could cause such a stir at the Oscar's, not to mention the much talked about back story. It's inspiring to me and I think Miss Diablo is fabulous! Congrats!

Happy Danes

Hello to All!

I have been under the weather, with a bad case of the Minnesota crud.

I was able to catch part of 60 Minutes, this past Sunday. There was an interesting feature on how and why the Danes are the happiest people on the planet. They are not the healthiest, richest, or the best educated. The belief is that Danes have realistic life expectations and are not motivated or consumed by material wants. Those interviewed mentioned they didn't think having more would make them happier. The piece closed with a young Dane saying that Americans ought to rethink the American Dream, if they believe in it, they will be disappointed.

I couldn't agree more. So simple, yet so thoughtful.

The less I want, the more I hope to gain.

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As I get ready to move this weekend, I am starting to have concerns about whether or not I will need items for the new abode. Will I need rugs for the hardwood floors, window treatments...? Argghhhh!

I just keep reminding myself to baby step, baby step....

Hope you are keeping warm in this Minnesota Cold!!!

Happy V D

Ok, I am just teasing... Happy Valentine's Day! My valentine's are all under the age of twelve and under six feet tall. I made home made valentine's and bought some sweets for my sweets. :)

As I delve further into the world of reusing and reducing and Calming down, calm-pact.... I decided it was in my best interest to meet with a financial consultant. I did. It made me want to throw up. It was like standing naked in front of stranger with all of the yuck exposed. Harsh. As anyone who has gone through a divorce knows, the financial aftermath is a mess. I do not know of any exceptions to this regardless of income level or level of acrimony. So.. I am in a mess and need help, so I took the first step towards recovery.

I found myself in the office a beautiful young women, mid-twenties, newly-wed, who is going to guide me through the yuck and get me to the light. I have to admit, after getting through the worst of it, it was very liberating. I was told I am making the changes that would have been suggested to me, downsizing - my housing costs were too much, eliminating or reducing childcare, check, hence the self-employment, and of course she was very happy to hear I was in the Compact. I think I was the first client to be.

I am on my way to repairing the financial pitfalls that have accompanied the dissolution of my marriage. I know it is going to be a rough and rocky road and not like the ice cream, but I can't wait to get to the other side and feel the relief and getting my finances back in order with the rest of my life!

My first assignment is to track every penny I spend for a month. I have been doing this for almost two weeks. What has become clear to me is that I spend an awful lot on caffeine. Coffee and Diet Coke... a lot of coffee and diet.

Baby stepping, baby stepping..... Calm-pact

Confession Time...

I have to confess, I fell off the Compact wagon... I bought an Oprah magazine and the worst part is I also bought, new, and this is so bad, paper cups. There it is. My indiscretion is in the open. I am weak. The O mag... I needed some inspiration and caved in to glossy pictures. As for the paper cups, I do not love doing dishes, at all. They had piled up and I took the easy way out and bought the cups. But as the paper cups sat in my cupboard, they stared at me every time I opened the cupboard doors... taunting me, making me feel so un-Compact-like. So there it is.

On the other hand, I recently had a fabulous lunch with incredible friends, the food was actually so-so but the friends were great! And one mentioned that Target has Spider-man gear in the dollar hot spot. For a brief moment I was excited, thinking, wow I can really make one young tot super excited.... then remembered that I could not in fact, in good conscience, purchase the new arachnid items. My friends laughed a bit and we all remembered the Compact. My mind then starting wondering if it would be okay for the youngster to use his new fin to make the purchases himself...? We haven't been to the big box store yet... so no definite answer as of yet.

Other notes... I have gone this far into the new year, is it still? with not buying any new soap, razors or toothpaste. I did get the Clinique Bonus recently. I need to have Clinique for skin care, seriously I have tried everything under the sun, it's only Clinique for me.. for skin, not make up. And as I am 30ish, 30's with problem skin, this is one area that I couldn't skimp or go 100% Compact on. So I got my skin care product during Bonus time. Yeah.

My most recent adventure including looking for jeans for a picky young charge. So off to Unique I went. And of course I got side tracked. So in addition to 2 pairs of pants, 4 super hero t-shirts, and other clothing items I scored big time in the toy department with k'nex, legos, and rescue heroes. My favorite find of the day was the vintage Levi's that are now my favorite jeans.

I also had the chance to check out the Handmaidens Craft Fair this past weekend. It was awesome. I came home with a beautiful knit scarf for eight bucks, made by a local crafts person. There were great crafters there with many beautiful and creative items. If I had buku bucks I would have come home with the freshest little purse.... but alas that was not meant to be. I have a new craving to learn to knit and sew. I am definitely going to check into some classes for that.

So... I am hanging in there. The world of consulting is slowly coming together. Piece. by. tiny. piece. The moving prep is coming along, a few more boxes packed, a few more things ready to go out the door. I had very good intentions (and we aaall know where that leads) of going through boxes in storage aka the garage but as the weather is well below zero, that task of sorting, purging, and donating is going to be a spring job.

Although I am really taking small steps, and not always forward, sometimes there are a few going back, I hope they are small steps towards making life long changes.